I should’ve been asleep.
And, God, You alone know how mixed up my tired mind and sensitive heart can get.
I just wanted to be protected from the dull ache uncertainty gives.
I just wanted to be held.
And maybe You whispered to me then, “Child, that’s what I wanted to do all along … to hold you.”
Maybe He assured me I could bring all my important questions and come rest in the Most Important … that I could pour it all out before Him and cry on His shoulder. That He is here. That He is ready to listen.
Maybe He reminded me that I could stop my frantic search for hope and meaning because they’re found in His arms. That here in His arms, my searching for answers is not pointless or empty. Here I’ve found meaning and hope that’s strong enough to rest deeply in. Breathe it in and let this meaning and hope carry into the next thing – whatever it may be.
And maybe He said, “See, Child, I know what your heart deeply needs. It’s what I had My Son killed for … to hold you tonight and forever.”
“May the God of all hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13, ESV